Here I was at a team meeting for my full-time job, 25-weeks pregnant, a new homeowner, and just moved twice over the last 7 months and I found myself disparaging myself to a colleague over my lack of follow through with Dreambuilt. She couldn't believe I was disappointed in myself and suddenly it hit me, this isn't talked about but it should be:
This is Entrepreneurial Guilt.
A simple google search told me how much this is actually a thing and the lack of hearing anyone talk about it over the last 4 years that I've owned a business told me how necessary the conversation is.
As noted in other blogs, entrepreneurial guilt can stem from feeling over or under committed to your business. And as a result, there is an avenue of your existence where you feel you are failing. For me, my personal life has taken so much of my brain power and emotional capacity, I find myself feeling too tired of working or thinking to give attention to Dreambuilt. For some, they may work so much they feel they are not giving enough to friends and family.
And the honest truth is that I am not giving enough time and attention to Dreambuilt right now. I just am not and I know that.
But should I feel shame & guilt for that?
If I were talking to any other human being, rather than an internal battle with my own self, I would say absolutely not. Everything in your life has a season and some are harder to find balance within than others. Providing yourself the compassion to recognize that this is a season of life and you only so much of yourself to give away is important.
So if you're reading this and you think you might have this entrepreneurial guilt, listen to that sentiment. I'm trying to as well.
And if you can't just give yourself the grace, like me, then here are the few things I'm going to try to do to ease my guilt. I challenge you to try them with me:
Set 1 hour aside each week to give to the business (or friends & family). Build it in to your calendar
Practice giving yourself grace by saying one amazing thing you've done through your business each time your feel shame or guilt
In that 1 hour, do one thing that makes you feel accomplished, no matter how small.
It's a short list, but I think that's where I am at right now. Biting off more than that would easily set me up for failure and feeling even worse than I do right now.
And why do I care about correcting this for myself and calling it out to others?
Because in that meeting I had today, I couldn't feel or see any of the amazing things I do on a day-to-day basis. I could only see and feel the shame and guilt. We all deserve to see, feel and be proud of the great many things we are juggling everyday. Others see it. And if there is one thing I now firmly believe that any form of guilt does to our soul:
Guilt casts a shadow over our soul that blocks out our ability to see the light.
So I'm going to try to overcome the guilt and I compel you to do the same. There are enough things in this world that cast shadows; let's not create them for ourselves anymore.
Thank you for coming to my pep talk.