Here's the deal: I wrote a book about it and I'm not body positive towards myself.
We all have body biases, because it's been taught to us. We see biases about bodies in the media, from friends, from family, from well-meaning loved ones, from movies, and shows, and healthcare. It's everywhere. So what are some ways that I am working on, and you can too, to be more body positive at home.
First thing is recognize your top body bias.
I sometimes get down about scale numbers, as though that is an indication of health. It isn't. You can be just as unhealthy in a bigger body as you can be in a small body. And even though, I tend to have that issue directed towards myself, it is important to note that anyone who hears me saying these things about myself may be effected, fearing that I feel this way about them.
Second thing is to focus on small improvements you can make.
I'm focusing on my self-talk. My biggest concern is creating an environment where someone, who views my body more positively than their own, would feel judged because my self-image makes me feel negative about MY body. I know that I've felt that when my
really thin friends said they felt fat. My first thought was, "If YOU are fat, then I must be severely overweight".
Not only does removing negative talk about myself help... myself, but it's a way that I can control how other people feel about their bodies around me.
Third thing to do is share body positive messages when you can.
I don't follow trends that tell anyone their body is or isn't perfect. Lately, I've loved AND been very bothered by the "I'm Not Pretty" song by Jessia trend on TikTok.
I like the song; it is catchy and it doesn't have an almost good message, but it is missing the boat: "Maybe I'm not pretty, maybe I'm just fun"
What? You don't have to have a flat belly or a small butt to be both pretty & fun. And to top it off, I see all these women on TikTok & Reels dancing to this song, but it doesn't feel as celebratory of their bodies as I feel it is intended to be... primarily because most are half-dressed and some are claiming to have a "belly" while showcasing their abs. It's a lot of mixed messages.
So I don't like them; I don't share them; I don't comment; I don't participate.
And the last big one, is say something different.
So we recognized, we worked to change, and we didn't join in. Now, start telling a different version of it all.
"Girl, You're so Pretty, and you're so fun! Cause you've got a brain & You rock that bun! I refuse to be jelly of all the other ones, cause I'm fallin in love every-y-yone."
Share things that are realistic looking, not just one type of body or health.
Push Healthcare to diagnosis, not assume based on appearances.
Tell someone you love something you value about them that has NOTHING to do with their appearance.
Change your verbiage from fat/skinny to bigger & smaller.
And if you're only able to do one of these things. That is a step forward. It's not about being perfect; it's about trying to be kinder and more loving to the other humans in the world.
And, if I told you to be perfect, well, that wouldn't be very kind and loving of you and your journey with body positivity.